pixel pakhuys logo visual storytelling

The Selkie Wife

Daniela Brunner • Nov 01, 2023

The Selkie Wife - Discovering yourself through story

The Selkie Wife

The power of story

As the year turns from light to dark and we spend more times indoors listening to howling winds and lashing rain, stories become more important. They are the light of winter nights and autumn gatherings leading us to places both familiar and strange, evoking an ancient magic of enchantment beneath a layer of entertainment. 

 

Stories are memories of events both real and imaginative and as such provide a plethora of insight into how the world was once perceived and, at its core, the nature of life itself. Such tales are never left completely unchanged and ultimately it is the storyteller’s prerogative to change the flavour of a story, determining who is the villain and who the hero. 

 

In the fantastic fairy tale and legend of old we encounter characters that feel contemporary in their fears and hopes whilst being steeped in a mythic landscape that we enter through imagination. Engaging with those stories enriches self-awareness as we shift perspective with each character of the tale and so explore our own connection to their predicament and challenges. If we approach the characters with compassion and without prejudice, we allow ourselves to look at and be compassionate of our own uncomfortable thoughts and instincts. That is the power of story.

 

Celtic Selkie stories

Celtic Selkie stories have been found in Scotland, Ireland, Iceland, the Isle of Man and the Faroe Islands.  They all tell of shapeshifting seals that can temporarily shed their (seal) skins and take on a human shape on land. In that new form they interact with humans often against their will and intention as in the story below that comes from the Northern isles of Scotland which I have chosen to illustrate. Please note that there are many variations of the tale.

 

Exploring the Selkie story

Below you will find an account of a tale that is written from the position of an observer. Read that story carefully and familiarise yourself with its content and settings. You may then want to write your own story from the perspective of a character that you are drawn to the most. How does this character experience the various events? Once you have explored that move on to a more ambivalent character and proceed in an equal fashion. All may yield a creative way of looking at your own ideas and thoughts some of which have been unconscious. Working with stories reveals such unconscious content and allows you to bring to light that which was hidden. It is then up to you keep, change, or strengthen certain thoughts and beliefs that are serving you. 

 

Alternatively, you can work with writing prompts which can also yield a great number of insights. 

 

The Selkie wife

Imagine that you are standing on a white sandy beach on a Northern Isle of Scotland. Wind is whipping your hair and tucking at your clothes as you watch a full moon riding high above a turbulent sea. Waves are lapping hungrily ashore, silver crested and undulating. You spot a darker shape within the labyrinth of waves, a head bobbing playfully above the waves allowing itself to be carried to shore. As the shape detaches itself from the body of ocean you see that it is a seal moving a little bit awkwardly closer inland. Moonlight streams over its skin and you notice that it is uniquely covered with patterns and symbols that interlace in a harmonious design. The seal rolls in the white sand and, before your eyes can fully take it in, sheds its skin to reveal a naked woman laughing and calling out to sea. You follow her gaze and notice more seals moving to shore and shedding their skins, joining her in an  ecstatic dance on the white sands, their seal skins lying strewn across the beach, each unique in its design. 

 

As you enjoy watching their dance you notice another shape moving from land closer to the beach and the dancing Selkies, for that is what the seal women are called. The moonlight reveals a young fisherman creeping closer to the dancing Selkies and you see desire for all that wild beauty in his eyes. Your gaze flits between the Selkies oblivious to their observer and the man who creeps closer to one of the abandoned skins and quickly stuffs it into his fishing basket. Unseen he hides behind a large rock and watches until the Selkies tire of their dancing and, one by one, find their own skin, slip it comfortably over their human shape and return in seal shape to the sea. The man’s eyes search for the Selkie whose skin he has stolen. He watches as she rakes the ground frantically to find her lost skin. She cries and screams in frustration and anger, as he steps into the moonlight, and guesses what he has done. He walks up to her and talks to her in soothing tones, offering her marriage and a life on shore close by the sea. Reluctantly she agrees to go with him to his small fishing hut and in time she becomes his wife sharing his home and bed. 

 

You follow and watch from a distance as their lives together unfold. There is laughter and there are tears, children are born, and death takes away one whilst the other two, a boy and a girl, grow up strong and beautiful. The Selkie without her seal skin is living like any other fisherman’s wife according to the rhythms of the land but at night you watch her dreaming of the sea. Her bed becomes an ocean into which she sinks leaving the land behind, swimming with her sisters in three-dimensional freedom. When she awakens with the call of the surf echoing still within her she realises that, should she ever find her skin again, the sea would call her back and she would forsake her life on land, husband, children, and all. You watch her beg her husband to hide her stolen skin, and he promises to keep it safely stashed away in an unlikely place.

 

One morning you watch her little son playing before their hut. He is trying to catch flying autumn leaves that are moved by a strong breeze carrying the strong scent of the sea. The little boy is happily running after the leaves leading him slowly towards his father’s fishing shed. One particularly pretty leaf, crimson and gold with dark red veins blows inside and he follows. As if moved by invisible fingers it falls between two crates and he pushes them apart with all his strength. They part quite easily and reveal the leaf that has landed on something soft and shiny, crumpled up in a heap. He reaches out, touches the soft, flowing thing, and filled with curiosity gathers it up to show to his mother. You run back to the hut with him, excitement shining in his eyes, the Selkie skin clutched in his hands, with the sound of the sea in your ears. 

 

Inside the Selkie wife makes bread, kneading the dough on a wooden table. She looks up briefly, hearing the boy enter and calling for her. The moment her eyes behold the skin she understands what her son has found. Her eyes reflect the difficulty of the choice she must make, between the call of the sea and the love of her family. Her son approaches her holding up the skin for her to touch and as soon as her hand brushes over the seal skin the longing for the ocean drowns out her love of all else. She bends down and whispers something in his ear, takes the skin from his hands and leaves him in the care of his older sister. 

 

The Selkie wife retraces her steps to the ocean’s edge from hence she came. You follow behind her climbing down the dunes to the white sandy beach and lapping waves. Seagulls circle in the dark blue sky above as she unfolds the skin and takes off her human clothes before slipping on her seal skin. In her seal shape she enters the ocean and leaves behind everything that she has known and created for the past years. As wave after wave welcomes her back, she becomes part of the ocean again, the land becoming the dream. You watch her swimming far out to sea knowing that her husband and children never see her in her human shape ever again.

 

Writing prompts

 

Selkie


  • I lost my skin …
  • My skin represents…
  • Returning to the ocean means…
  • Leaving behind that which I have come to love means…

 

Fisherman


  • When I desire something I…
  • I can forgive myself for…
  • I stand by my choice because…


Child


  • I wish that …
  • I have no control over…
  • I am curious …


I am exactly where I need to be right now.
By Daniela Brunner 29 Apr, 2024
Unravelling the thought ‘I am exactly where I need to be right now’ we discover that smart decisions are only made by a calm brain and that the entire premise of a ‘right’ place is ultimately flawed and completely irrelevant.
Being human in a clockworklike universe
By Daniela Brunner 18 Mar, 2024
The thought ‘How human of me’ frees us from the lie that we are always able to perform at a steady pace in a predictable, clockworklike world and focuses our attention on universal human needs such as belonging and the search for meaning. It fosters much needed compassion for us and others which makes us truly human.
Illustrated thought I have agency
By Daniela Brunner 22 Feb, 2024
Illustrated helpful thoughts to bring your thought work to the next level. The thought ‘I have agency’ empowers us to stay aligned with our values regardless of circumstance. We already hold the key to unlock the next chapter of our life. Let’s explore that concept in more detail.
Comparison is the thief of joy illustration
By Daniela Brunner 15 Feb, 2024
Illustrated helpful thoughts to bring your thought work to the next level. What makes this borrowed thought 'Comparison is the thief of joy' so powerful is that it confronts us with the negative consequence of comparison: loss of joy. Interestingly enough, it is not the ability to see difference that robs us of pleasure but the value judgement we attach to perceived diversity. Let’s explore that concept in more detail.
By Daniela Brunner 21 Aug, 2020
Feed me When the Worrier is in control, attacking my mind with endless repeats of unhelpful thoughts, my body feels weak and defeated. Its constant recycling of negativity into new packages of pain keep me chained to the wheel of helplessness. Two decades ago, I would have instinctively turned to food for comfort, a few moments joy before the inner torment would break over me like a wave dragging me into its depths. Luckily, 16 years ago I have found another way to disrupt the endlessly turning wheel of misery and grief. Entering the gym arena At the age of 35, I had already lost a considerable amount of weight and the idea of joining a gym no longer horrified me. I was still, in my eyes, the fattest, most unfit person lifting weights and hitting the cross-trainer there, but I did give myself some credit for at least trying to get into shape. However, motivation was becoming a problem because I did not become the lean, mean machine I had envisaged quickly enough. So, I turned to group classes instead hoping to find inspiration and drive when the Worrier whispered its poison into my ears. After trying several different types of guided workouts, I had walked into a kickboxing class, expecting to feel just as out of place and overwhelmed as I had in all the others. The lessons started with the entire class comprised only of the fittest of the fit, and me, lining up whilst our trainer ordered us to flex our ab’s. Just as I was wondering if I had any and where to find them exactly, he started kicking the first person in line into the stomach with what I now know as a front kick. They all heroically stayed vertical and just had to retreat a few steps. When it was my turn, I only had time to prepare myself to be knocked back badly. But the hard impact and humiliation never came. My trainer had the sense not to push too hard and I learnt one important lesson that day: It’s enough to just stand your ground. Fighting fit From that day on I became not the best but the most loyal student. When a kickboxing lesson was scheduled I was there. When I fell, I got up again. When I had pain, I endured and carried on. It made me realise that I could take a lot more than I thought, that I was stronger than I had ever imagined. I became not only physically fitter but also mentally stronger, something which was severely tested in the months to come. Around the time that I slowly got the hang of all the kickboxing moves and felt part of the group, my husband got ill. When he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer I was faced with another internal choice: return to food or workout for comfort? I chose to stay active and punched and kicked myself through the coming weeks and months as my husband became weaker and closer to death. Telling no one at the gym, except my trainer, was also helpful because these were the only moments in my life where I was not seen and pitied as the wife of the dying husband. During the lessons I could be myself, forgetting for a while that tomorrow we’d go for another chemotherapy or hear bad news from his doctor. After his death less than a year after diagnosis I worked out almost constantly and eventually got together with my new partner and now husband whom I met in kickboxing class. Defying the Worrier Since then, kickboxing has become my constant companion, my lifeline pulling me through dark times, keeping me physically and mentally strong in the knowledge that I do not have to win, be the strongest or best because all of that will one day fade away. I just have to be there, turn up, stand my ground, face my fears. Then the Worrier doesn’t get a chance to pull me back into its endless cycle of pain, grief and self-pity. I have accepted that I cannot perhaps defeat the Worrier only control it by staying and feeling strong. Then it becomes just another opponent, another challenger and all I have to do is face it, stand my ground. That is enough. 
redefining feminine
By Daniela Brunner 03 Jun, 2020
If we truly want to change the way future generations define feminine, we need to model different behaviour, show that being strong and fierce, having muscles and the ability to stand up for oneself are also female qualities.
By Daniela Brunner 20 Apr, 2020
During the current Covid 19 crisis we've been advised to stay home if there isn't any good reason to go out. For some this seems a great challenge but real heroes never back down, even if the going - or not going- gets tough. So be a hero. Flatten the curve. Watch my video .
By Daniela Brunner 20 Apr, 2020
As the effects of the current pandemic are continuing to affect all of us in greater or lesser degrees, I became curious about the correlation of change and interruption. EMDR Having experienced EMDR treatment recently (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) which, very simply put, minimises the effect of trauma by disrupting ingrained thought processes, I know first-hand that interference can generate very positive effects. So, when Covid-19 restrictions were put in place and my personal routines were interrupted I made a conscious choice to use this time of interruption as a tool of self-reflection and ultimately self-improvement, which means changing who we are to become who we’d like to be. Drawing on my love of fairy tales and myths, the current crisis and, in particular, the restrictive quality of our lives right now, reminded me very much of Odin hanging from the world-tree Yggdrasil in Norse mythology which inspired the drawing above. Odin's quest for enlightenment Here’s a quick recap for those of you unfamiliar with the tale: Odin, all-father decided that he wanted to know more about the world he saw before him and decided to do something about it. I imagine that he pondered how to wise up and eventually the idea of self-sacrifice struck him as a possible way to gain wisdom. He sacrificed one eye in Mimir’s well and, for good measure, threw himself on his spear Gungnir. Not done yet, Odin hung himself in the world tree Yggdrasil for nine days and night nights. It is said that he gained knowledge of the world and the runes during his ordeal which allowed him to e.g. cure the sick, calm storms and, very important from a heterosexual male perspective, make women fall in love with him. Counter-intuitive What fascinates me about this tale is that Odin gains knowledge in a most counterintuitive manner. It would seem rather more sensible to set out and travel the globe, study at the feet of masters and listen to their tales of wisdom. Instead he self-mutilated and hung himself in a tree from which perspective, I dare say he’d been able to see very little of the world around him. Yet in keeping himself still, isolated and, excuse the pun, suspended he emerged wiser than before. Change by interruption I would argue that this tale illustrates that it is sometimes wiser to stop, keep still and look within in order for true insight to occur. By depriving ourselves from the pleasure of routine we also free part of us to examine if that daily rhythm really furthers our innermost desires, something which is much harder to do when we’re blindly caught in endless, unconscious reiterations. It is therefore not surprising that many religious and spiritual practises around the world claim that a period of complete withdrawal is just the ticket to achieve a higher state of consciousness. It would also explain the popularity of retreats that haul you out of your mansion into the most simplistic of settings and serve you unpretentious food. Then you’ll be given a new routine where you greet dawn in summer and hit your bed way before the sun sets and, to make matters worse, forbids you to socially interact. So no ranting and complaining either. Global disruption = global change? The Covid-19 crisis’s power of disruption on a global scale offers an opportunity to collectively increase our awareness of how we are shaping our own life and ultimately the planet by thoroughly suspending our ingrained routines. This may lead to global change if we allow the desire for transformation to take root starting and ending with ourselves. There are a lot of positive noises out there if you follow the media. People vowing to work more from home, travel less, even question whether consumerism should be at the centre of our economic policy. I would encourage us all to look deeper, suspended from normal routine and emerge stronger and changed from this period of withdrawal. Perhaps we may not quite achieve Odin’s state of total enlightenment but a little bit more insight, self-control and determination would be nice.
By Daniela Brunner 16 Apr, 2020
After an arduous journey, days of endless questing and dragon slaying the prince finally reaches the clearing. There, in a fine glass casket, lies the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen. He bends down, ready to kiss her when suddenly, a dwarf rushes out. His face is covered with a piece of cloth, his hand slams on the glass lid as he says as clearly as possible from under the mask and beard: “All you can do is wait, mate. Come back in two weeks and we’ll see where we’re at then.”
By Daniela Brunner 16 Apr, 2020
They knew it straight away! It had looked too good. It had smelt too good. And it had come with a warning. But the cookies and candies had been so tempting that they had ignored the by now familiar 1,5 metre sign and creaked open the gate to the old woman’s cottage. They had taken only one bite when the old hag had loomed behind them pressing them flat against the cottage with her broom keeping them away at a safe distance from her. “Can’t you read, miserable scum?” she shouted. “At my age I’m at risk. You’ll pay for that”. She shoed them into a cage usually reserved for her special breed of large chicken and locked it tight. ‘At least I’ll have a full larder now,’ the old woman thought as she went inside her cottage and closed the door.
More Posts
Share by: